shitpost thread - fuck blackquill

[fofa]

i love top gear/grand tour

 

[Knight]

According to the height of a Minion (which is 3.5 feet on average) Gru is 4 minions tall, which means he is a godly size of 14 feet tall. Second if any of you remember the original Despicable Me, you Know there is a scene when Vector kidnaps the three girls and shoots a series of heat-seeking misses at Gru, he then dodge them all. According to the speed of an average ballistic missile (1900 mph) and the size of the missile according to his ankle size, Gru can perceive and move at such a speed that the missiles only move 9.5 miles per hour, 0.5% of their original speed. Plus after this Gru punches a shark and it is paralyzed meaning its spine is probably shattered, to remind you it would require a force greater than 3,000 newtons to fracture the spine. That’s equal to the impact created by a 500-pound car crashing into a wall at 30 miles per hour. I rest my case.

 

[Zyzz]

 

[Chezburger]

 

[Knight]

Mia Khalifa had her tit implant popped by a rogue hockey puck LOL

 

[JohnLugo]

Petah get down here!
Ahhh what’s wrong louis?
It’s 6pm and you haven’t fed quagmire yet!
Ehehehhe my bad I’ll head down to the basement now.
Wakey wakey quaggy!
Wh- oh... no I’m still here...
*peter unbuckles his belt, his flabby arse falling out like a waterfall of ruined flesh*
Peter please... please... I- I just wanna see my family again
*peter kicks over the chair, smiling down at the malnourished quagmire as he squats over his face, the rotund spectacle blocking nearly all light as poor quagmire can only stare up at the now widening pucker of peter griffin*
OPEEEN WIDEEEEE
*BRRRAAAAPPPP PFFFRRRTFTFTF PPPPOOPPBBB SWEWWE PRRRRBBBT*
Ble- ahh AAHHHHHHH PETER PLE-
*PLOP POLOP BRRAAAAAPPPPP BBBREEEW PRRRREAAAAAPPPPP*
I-I’m gonna be sick again... peter please let me g-
*BRREAPPPPPOPO POPPPFTTFTR*
Mmmhmm yeah quaggy eat that shit! God I feel like when I met tom cruise that one time at the wheat convention! Oh FUCK quagga here comes the motherlode!
*you can smell the rancid, rotting shit well before it even pokes its vile head from peters stretched hole, the godless log slowly pushes apart peters elastic pucker as if descends into the mouth of dear quagmire, it’s abhorrent, filthy smell choking the air, as the worm laden horror slips over quagmires teeth*
gurgle- choke- gurgle- ack- p-Pete-
*BRRRRAPPOOOOO PPPLPDPDPDPPDPTNRBTNBTBRBRBBRBR BRRRp*
*quagmire looks near death as he chews and swallows the log, as more vile fumes and particles collide with his face, he swallows every chunk, his face pale and his eyes blurred*
Wheeze, cough... peter please... let me go... I... don’t want to die like this.... please
*peter lowers his behemoth rump, the flesh flowing into every mold of quagmires face like a downpour, enveloping his every sense*
Time for desert quaggy
*BRRRAAAAPPPPPP*
The toxic cloud pierces quagmires nervous system to the core, and he slowly suffocates on peters fart, losing consciousness only to wake up at the same time, same place tommorow*

 

[Powley]

why are you posting Blue Castle Content here?

 

[Jimbo]

 

[Isuckatgaming]

@egg trying to avoid being caught on camera by his mom

 

[Dallas]

goblindarts

 

[Knight]

Sneaking into the kitchen at 3 am for handfulls of shredded cheese

 

[Jimbo]

Sneaking into the kitchen at 3 am for handfulls of shredded cheese

it's an old meme reference knight ur too low iq for this 1

 

[Dallas]

topical

 

[Jimbo]

 

[Ond]

 

[Johnny B. Goode]

hey fellas i worked loads of hours at work and got paid today and i just have about enough money to go and stay with my girl in hungary and im super excited i’ve never been to eastern europe before

 

[Zyzz]

Mia Khalifa had her tit implant popped by a rogue hockey puck LOL

She's the only muslim I like. And that says quite alot.

 

[DoubleD]

 

[Ond]

THIS EATING BEANS

 

[Blackquill]

THIS EATING BEANS

While watching an australian man attempt to walk to the point